Sunday, August 2, 2026

6:32 a.m.

I’ve been up for a while now. I woke up earlier and let Ruby out, but then I got back in bed. It was still dark out… or maybe just earlier than I realized.

Ruby kept staring at me, kind of making me feel like, All right. I gotta get up, I guess.

Which I did.

Since it was already 6:30, I figured, well, that’s much later than I normally sleep. So I got up, and I even got Ozzy up. I figured we’d go outside.

The last couple of days, I’ve been thinking about something I heard on Mel Robbins’ podcast. She talked about nine things you could do to improve your life or just make your day a little better. Simple things.

One of them was this 5-10-20 rule about standing outside and staring up at the sky, getting some morning light.

If it’s a nice sunny day like today, spend five minutes.

If it’s cloudy, spend ten.

If it’s raining, try for twenty.

Just stand on your porch. Sit on your porch. Listen to the rain. Stare up at the sky.

How bad could that be?

So I’ve been doing that.

I did it this morning, and it was very nice. I really enjoyed it.

I was staring at the color blue that just covered everything while the clouds ripped through it. I never know what type of clouds they are. I know I learned them back in grammar school, but I’m not even going to attempt to say their names.

While I was staring at the sky, there was a plane that seemed super high up there. It was so small I could barely see it.

Then I realized…

It doesn’t even touch the clouds.

There’s a lot of room up there.

And somehow it’s already crowded.

We came back inside. Ozzy had his breakfast. I got a coffee, and Ruby had a little breakfast herself.

I put on the same YouTube video every morning. It’s called Working Jazz or something. I’m pretty sure it’s just an AI creator who made five hours of rambling jazz piano.

I’ve gotten so used to it, so comfortable with it, that it’s almost the same as putting on my robe in the morning.

It’s just part of what I like to do.

I sit on the couch, drink my coffee, talk into a microphone, and see what comes flowing out of my head because half of it’s just cluttered with bullshit anyway.

So that’s kind of what I’m doing today.

I haven’t written or published anything in a bit.

I’ve been writing, but I haven’t been publishing anything because I’m one of those guys who’s always asking, What am I doing?

I wrote a note to myself the other day. It sits on my desk in the shed.

It says:

Just write your book.

That’s it.

I’ve been writing, and I’m a bit scattered around, but currently—and I have been for the last few weeks—I’m just focusing on writing this book.

It’s a tricky thing.

It’s very emotional, and I’m in completely uncharted territory.

But I want to write and self-publish a book.

Everything else is just distracting me from that.

So I have to focus on it.

That decision and that clarity, I think, are a good thing. It relaxes me a little bit.

It keeps me from stacking ideas on top of ideas and trying to pull ten people into something.

I’m always looking for collaborators.

In the meantime, I don’t even know what I’m trying to do.

So having collaborators just causes friction.

Then I remind myself…

I’m trying to figure it out.

I just keep trying.

I just got distracted by Ruby dropping a hairbrush from the couch.

It sounded like a twenty-five-pound dumbbell hitting a hardwood floor.

I forget what I was saying.

I haven’t felt good for the last couple of days, which is a twist because I’ve been feeling great.

I think it was just kind of a twenty-four-hour thing because I do feel pretty good this morning.

I’m grateful for that.

I don’t know exactly what causes it.

There’s no particular rhyme or reason.

But every now and then I’ll get a stomach bug for about twenty-four hours where I literally can’t put anything in my stomach.

I just throw up.

Sorry to be gross.

It’s an exhausting twenty-four hours, and a bit of a mindfuck, because the whole time you can’t help but think…

Is this a bigger issue than I realize?

Should I be going to the hospital right now?

Should I wake up Kate?

How bad is this one?

The whole time it’s happening, I’m praying.

I’m talking to my mother and father.

My nephew.

Nanny.

I pray to Jesus a lot too.

I talk to everybody while things are going on.

Good things and bad things.

As usual…

They’ve pulled me out of it.

Once that happens, I really focus on one thing.

I have to rest.

When I wake up from something like that, I’m exhausted.

Physically and mentally.

I really haven’t slept in twenty-four hours.

Taking it easy goes a long way.

Today I feel much, much better.

The day after something like that, I’ve got to tiptoe into eating.

It’s ridiculous.

Just rice and beans throughout the day.

Nothing but water.

Enough about that.

I’ve had some great visits with old friends recently.

Friends I hadn’t seen in nine years.

Twelve years.

People I hadn’t talked to in a very long time.

To say it was nourishing and beautiful is such an understatement.

These are people who knew me before who I became.

Before my heart transplant.

People who knew me when I was a kid.

All through my adult life.

Something about reconnecting with those people is really deep and meaningful.

It carries a lot of weight for me.

It’s strange.

The people I see all the time… you have a certain relationship with them.

Maybe there’s a certain politeness.

Old friends are different.

I treat those moments with such reverence.

I try not to waste a minute.

Just trying to be as authentic as I can be.

I’ve always tried to be authentic.

But sometimes making small talk and moving along is all there is.

Now I’m curious as hell.

About everything.

I always have this feeling…

Is this the last conversation we’re ever going to have?

I never tell anybody that.

That’s a lot of pressure.

Instead I’m just curious.

What are you doing?

How are you doing?

Usually I tell people what I’m doing because I’m looking for direction from someone.

But you realize nobody’s really there to give you direction.

Most people tell you what they hope is right because that’s what they’re doing.

I think that’s what I’m doing too.

The older you get, the fewer people there are who can give you direction.

So independence is the constant thing I keep coming back to.

I have to be able to do the things I love completely by myself, to some degree.

And enjoy it.

I’m the only person that what I’m doing really matters to.

That’s why depending on collaborators…

I can’t do it anymore.

I’ve got to figure it out.

If I’m a singer, I’ve got to sing my songs.

If I’m a songwriter, I’ve got to write my songs.

If I put out records, I’ve got to record them.

If I want a really cool bush or beautiful plants in my yard, I’ve got to plant them and see what happens.

A lot of the plants in my garden started out great.

Then sometimes they just take a turn halfway through.

Instead of standing there being pissed off about it…

I pull them up.

Put them in the mulch pile.

Plant something new in that spot.

See if it grows.

Perhaps that’s the thing I’m trying to get to.

I only said “perhaps” because I’m sick of saying the word “maybe.”

Not that it’s a bad word.

Stop looking at things as failures.

Look at them as little moments where you simply have to find another way.

No problem.

Try it this way.

Just keep trying.

You’ll figure it out.

I’ve come a long way already.

I’ve just got to keep going.

I’m going to be officiating my niece’s wedding this month.

I think I’m going to get that organized over the next day or so.

I have it broken down into about five scenes.

I’m going to work on the script.

I got re-ordained.

So somehow…

I’m a minister again.

I’m all set.

I’m excited.

Some really important old friends are going to be there too.

People I haven’t seen in a long time.

Next week we’re going to the Outer Banks with ten families.

A road trip.

Pretty wild for us.

Kate and I do very well in adversity and terror.

I imagine we can probably do pretty well with relaxation, sunshine, and spending joyful time with friends.

I’m trying to go with an open mind more than anything.

I’m looking forward to making some memories.

Taking it easy.

So that’s where I’m at today.

I’ve still got fifty projects.

The twentieth anniversary of Accepted.

Celebrating that Ape Fight’s “You Think We Suck” was in the movie.

Building my website.

Writing my book.

The wedding.

The garden.

Working on all of it.

I know it’s only August.

But I can feel the change.

This year feels a little different.

As hot as it gets, there are some really cool days.

My lawn is different than it has been in past years.

I want to embrace that.

I want a winter garden.

I’m going to prepare for planting things in late summer that will look incredible in the fall.

Anyway…

I could go on and on.

And I hope I do.